The Last Time
by PetrastellaX
Summary: Blaine is a young man with a complicated past he's tried to bury behind a sunny disposition. But when his boyfriend leaves for New York and his best friend Rina comes back to Ohio will he be able to keep up the facade? What happens when his friend tells him what he doesn't know about the night of Sadie Hawkins? Blaine/Finn/OC centric, based loosely on the events of Glee season 4.
1. The Last Time

**Author's Notes: **_Hello everyone! You may have read my previous story "Blaine's Best Friend", but I really lost hope when no one reviewed it. Then two years later I get reviews and follows! Well I kind of lost steam and can't go back, but I've written this new fic set in Season 4 mostly because I was so unhappy with where they took Blaine, Finn and Kurt this season. And I absolutely hated 'Blina.' So here I give you Blaine and Rina, her name meaning song in Hebrew. It will mostly center on the two of them and Finn but it will involve Kurt, Rachel, and the rest of the New Directions. I will be using some season four cannon, but it will be my very loose interpretation. Hope you like it! And I own nothing but the character of Rina Hendrix.  
_

* * *

**Chapter One: The Last Time**

Blaine Anderson had a perfect summer. He had spent his time bonding with his boyfriend and reconnecting with his best friend Rina. But the summer was over, Kurt had gone to New York to pursue his dreams, and Blaine was left in Ohio wondering what his senior year would be like. He liked the New Directions, and with Rina back in his life he knew it would be a little less intimidating to return to a team that admittedly was not where he felt at home. But would she stay? That was the more important question.

Rina Hendrix was born just hours before Blaine at the same hospital, and their mothers had met and bonded over the birth of their new children. When they were fourteen she got the chance of a lifetime to go away and study at a fancy theatre academy and had been living in Chicago ever since. But now she had returned, with every intention to spend her senior year with Blaine, and win him another nationals trophy with the glee club.

Blaine wasn't sure why Rina had returned into his life. She was what he called a 'drifter'. Since she had moved to Chicago just after his beating, she had come and gone like the changing tides. She would disappear for a time, then as suddenly as she left she would reappear. At first Blaine was hurt by it, not understanding why his loyal best friend would disappear for months at a time. But when she was in his life, she was the most attentive and supportive friend he could ask for. So when she told him that she would not just be spending the summer, but the entire school year in Ohio, Blaine couldn't help but wonder just how long it would really last. He had spent a perfect summer with her and Kurt, a summer he could only have dreamed of. But now the school year was starting and he could feel her growing restless, he sensed her urge to run, and he wondered why she had returned at all.

Rina was a young girl with big dreams, impossible heartbreak, and dark secrets. She had loved and nearly lost her best friend when she was only 14, and carrying around her fear of losing him for real caused her to walk in and out of his life, being unfair and selfish with her love. She had spent three months of summer with him, and had committed to another ten, and it grew harder every day to resist the temptation to run. She didn't want to run because she was afraid of what she could lose, she wanted to run because of the secrets she carried; the secrets that had the power to ruin both their lives.

* * *

At 7:30am on Monday morning Blaine knocked on Rina's door, "Rina? Are you ready?" He couldn't hear anything so he opened the door to see his best friend staring at herself in the mirror, with tears in her eyes. "What's wrong Ri?" he asked as he walked toward her. She dried her eyes and said, "oh don't mind me, I'm just getting all sentimental thinking about how this is our last first day of school. It's the beginning of a lot of lasts." He smiled warmly at her and said, "and the start of a lot of new beginnings." They hugged tightly and then walked out of her room, toward their first last.

Rina's first day of school at McKinley High was a blur, but at the end of the day it was time for her to audition for the New Directions. She waited patiently until Mr. Schuster called her name, "Rina Hendrix, please take the stage." She picked up a guitar and moved to the middle of the stage where she said, "my name is Rina Hendrix and I will be singing 'I Won't Give Up' by Jason Mraz." The boys of the glee club watched the small girl intently; she had shoulder length auburn hair and fiery brown eyes. Rina sat down on a stool, bowed her head reverently to her guitar and began playing the tune.

_When I look into your eyes  
It's like watching the night sky  
Or a beautiful sunrise  
Well, there's so much they hold  
And just like them old stars  
I see that you've come so far  
To be right where you are  
How old is your soul?_

Her voice was rich and deep, a strong mezzo-soprano that although would have a hard time fitting in on Broadway, would certainly make for a striking lead vocalist. The glee club members watched her with wonder; she wasn't like Rachel, devoid of ambitious power that knocked you back into your seat. She was quiet, restrained, calmly confident and eager only to be herself; or rather, a version of herself.

_Well, I won't give up on us  
Even if the skies get rough  
I'm giving you all my love  
I'm still looking up  
_

_And when you're needing your space  
To do some navigating  
I'll be here patiently waiting  
To see what you find_

Blaine couldn't help but laugh when she sang those words, 'so you're giving me space when you disappear' he thought to himself. However he was soon surprised by the growing emotion he could hear in her voice.

_'Cause even the stars they burn  
Some even fall to the earth  
We've got a lot to learn  
God knows we're worth it  
No, I won't give up_

_I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily_  
_I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make_  
_Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use_  
_The tools and gifts we got, yeah, we got a lot at stake_  
_And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend_  
_For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn_  
_We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in_  
_I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not, and who I am_

Rina felt herself slowly losing composure, she knew the words she sang rang more true than any others she could have said. She looked up momentarily to meet eyes with Blaine and knew he had to understand this was the beginning of a long apology from her.

_I won't give up on us  
Even if the skies get rough  
I'm giving you all my love  
I'm still looking up, still looking up._

_Well, I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up)_  
_God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)_  
_We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved)_  
_God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it)_

_I won't give up on us_  
_Even if the skies get rough_  
_I'm giving you all my love_  
_I'm still looking up_

As she finished her song Mr. Schuster said, "that was an interesting song choice, care to share its meaning?" Rina fidgeted slightly but composed herself and said, "I sang it for my best friend Blaine. We've been apart for so long, and it's how I feel now that we're together again." Blaine smiled at her words and Mr. Schuster thanked her and then called the next student onto the stage. Blaine met her back stage and said, "you were fantastic!" Rina smiled at him and said, "I don't think Mr. Schuster liked me, everyone else is so talented, I don't think I'll be in glee club."

Blaine hugged her and said, "no way, I'm sure Mr. Schue loved you. Besides, we don't have a voice like yours in the New Directions, you could be our secret weapon!" Rina laughed and the two walked back into the auditorium.

At the end of auditions everyone was anxious to meet the new girl, especially since she had a history with Blaine. Blaine introduced her to the group saying, "everyone meet Rina. She is my best friend from Chicago. She grew up here in Ohio but moved there with her parents to go to a performing arts school. She's back to spend her senior year with me." Rina was intimidated by the group, but they were easily just as intimidated by her. Her impressive education made Tina, Artie, Sam, Joe, Unique, Sugar and Brittany feel as if they were inadequate. However they never let it show and Artie asked, "so what was your emphasis at that fancy school?" Rina smiled and replied, "I was a theatre major, but I took additional classes in dramatic writing, I hope to be a playwright someday." Suddenly the group felt collectively relieved, she would be no threat to anyone's stardom, and maybe even let Artie direct some of her work. After they had all met and talked Blaine and Rina went to get coffee at the Lima Bean.

* * *

Although Blaine loved having Rina staying with him in his own house, it never felt quite comfortable being around her and his parents at the same time; especially with his father constantly nagging, "come on son, she's pretty, why not give girls a try?" And despite her recent devotion he still had to wonder, will this even last? He had to know why she was back, and why she was suddenly so committed to what had been a rather one sided friendship.

They sat down at the Lima Bean, Blaine with his black coffee three sugars, Rina with her double shot coconut milk mocha, and for a while they just sat in silence. Finally Blaine couldn't stand it any longer, he had spent three months with her without a satisfactory explanation so he blurted out suddenly, "why are you really here?" Rina looked at him with wide eyes and said, "wait a minute, where is this coming from?" Blaine felt a little ashamed for being so blunt but he still wanted to know, "well since you left we've had this on again off again kind of relationship. Now suddenly you're back and I'm just supposed to wait around until you get bored and ditch me again? I love you Rina, but I'm tired of you disappearing and reappearing as you please, what did I do to make you treat me like this? I loved the song you sang, but how can I trust the words?"

Blaine's words cut Rina's heart, she had always known that Blaine wouldn't appreciate her disappearing act, but he had never had the guts to be so up front with her before. She had her reasons, and very good ones at that, but she couldn't seem to be able to tell Blaine. After all, her biggest regrets all lied with him, and when the pain got too intense, she erased him from her life, only to ache for his presence not a second later. But telling him this would only lead to questions whose answers had the power to destroy their relationship forever, and she wasn't ready to say goodbye.

Rina scrambled mentally for an explanation, but no amount of justifying seemed to be enough. Finally she said, "I'm sorry I've hurt you, I've been selfish. I should have been there for you after the Sadie Hawkins incident, but the longer we were apart the more it felt like you wouldn't want me in your life. I felt like I was just reminding you of everything that hurt you. But I'm here to stay now. I promise I won't leave you." Blaine looked at Rina knowing she wasn't being completely truthful, he could see she was hiding something from him, but would he risk her running away to uncover the truth? Blaine stared at her for several minutes, wondering if she would break down and open up to him, but she didn't. She remained steadfastly faithful to her secrets, ones that she had locked away deep inside a place that Blaine wasn't allowed to go. Never before had he felt that with her, but it was now abundantly clear, just like Cooper, his parents, and eventually Kurt, she was keeping a part of her life from him. The only person who hadn't, suddenly kept him out and he ached to know why. After several seconds he relented but said, "this is the last time Rina. I can't lose you again. If you leave, you will never see me again." Rina held back tears but said, "then this is the last time you have to forgive me." Blaine hugged her tightly, silently wishing to whatever mystical powers that existed, _please, make her let me in._

* * *

The next day at McKinley High the glee club additions were posted and Rina made her way to the bulletin and closed her eyes. A million times she had done this at the Academy, always getting the parts she auditioned for, yet she had never wanted anything more than to be in the glee club, to be close to Blaine. She finally allowed herself to look up at the list and to her relief her name was listed along with Marley, Jake, Kitty and Ryder. Not a moment later she heard the familiar voice of her best friend behind her and he said, "see, I told you Mr. Schue liked you." She smiled and said, "let's go find out what our first assignment is." The two walked into glee club and took their seats among the other members. Rina was happy to have a place in her new school, a place where she could slowly make amends for her past mistakes.

As the final members filed in Mr. Schue happily greeted them and said, "I'd like to welcome our newest members of the glee club, Marley, Jake, Ryder, Kitty and Rina." The room erupted in applause and for a moment both Blaine and Rina let go of their past and lived only in the present.

"Now we have no time to waste preparing for sectionals, we are facing the Dalton Academy Warblers this year, and we all know how formidable of a foe they are." Rina looked at Blaine and whispered, "is it weird competing against your old team?" He frowned for a minute but said, "in a way, but I know this is where I belong." Rina was surprised, "because this is where Kurt was?" He shook his head, "no, because you're here." She smiled at his words and then refocused on Mr. Schuster and his ideas for sectionals.

* * *

Rina was excited to be at a new school where she could reinvent herself. She had left behind quite a reputation at The Academy and was relieved that not even Blaine knew about the baggage she was leaving behind. As much as she wanted to admit that the Sadie Hawkins incident hadn't affected her, it had, more than anyone would ever know. She tried dealing as best she could, but nothing worked. She drank, she did drugs, she looked to sex for an escape but none of it worked. She still awoke to visions of Blaine and his friend lying motionless in the Westerville High parking lot, bruised and bloodied, left for dead by . . . "Rina" she suddenly heard.

Startled from her nightmarish vision she looked up to see Marley looking at her, "hey, are you okay?"

"Yes," she replied, "just thinking, sorry, what was your name again?" The girl smiled and said, "I'm Marley, I love your voice, it's going to be amazing with you in glee club." Rina blushed and said, "oh, you're too nice, my voice doesn't compare with yours. I love Broadway, I've already written part of a book for a musical, but I'd never get a role with my voice." Marley smiled kindly at her and said, "oh that's no way to think! Voices come in all different tones and styles, maybe you just need to write one for yourself." Rina laughed and said, "yeah, maybe." Marley then asked her, "hey, would you like to have lunch with me?" Rina smiled and said, "yeah, I could use a girl friend." Marley laughed and the two walked off to the cafeteria.

* * *

That afternoon Rina was the first one to appear in glee club. She set down her backpack in a chair and waited a few moments. Suddenly she realized that she was alone in a room full of instruments, "why am I not playing?" she thought to herself. She picked up a guitar and sat on one of the stools. She began plucking a few random cords before deciding on the song that would best suit how she felt. Once she knew the notes drifted from the guitar into the hall where Finn Hudson was looking for Mr. Schuster.

* * *

Finn Hudson had come back to Lima for one reason and one reason only. He and Rachel were over. His big plans to join the marines had failed, he didn't fit into the scene in New York; he was a man with no purpose and no home. So now at his lowest point he could only think of one place that felt safe, that felt like home. He walked the halls of McKinley High longing to feel as if it was still his safe haven, but it wasn't, it belonged to someone else now. As he approached the choir room he could hear the steady hum of a guitar and realized one of the glee kids was playing. At first he sped up to see which of his beloved friends was there. However he heard a voice he didn't recognize and slowed his gait, suddenly entranced by the saddest voice he had ever heard.

_Good times for a change  
See, the luck I've had  
Can make a good girl  
Turn bad_

_So please, please, please_  
_Let me, let me, let me_  
_Let me get what I want_  
_This time_

Finn approached the doorway of the choir room to see a small girl with auburn hair sitting on a stool in the middle of the room with her eyes shut tight. She wore skinny jeans and converse shoes, clearly a hipster kid. He moved in further to notice her pale skin and winged eyeliner. She certainly didn't look like she had lived there long. The kids of McKinley High would rid her of that soon enough.

_Haven't had a dream in a long time_  
_See, the life I've had_  
_Can make a good girl bad_

_So for once in my life_  
_Let me get what I want_  
_Lord knows, it would be the first time_  
_Lord knows, it would be the first time_

As she finished her song Finn clapped, startling her back into reality. She got up with a start, dropping the guitar and almost looking as if she was ready to attack.

"Woah, I didn't mean to scare you" Finn said. "My name's Finn Hudson, I'm just here visiting Mr. Schue and the glee club. I used to be in it last year." Rina caught her breath before realizing who was standing before her. Suddenly she said, "wait, you're Kurt's step brother. The one who almost got married last year." Finn felt pained at her mention of his failed attempt to marry Rachel Berry, but then realized, "how do you know that?" The girl then picked up the guitar she dropped and said, "I'm sorry, I'm Rina Hendrix. Blaine is my best friend, I'm here to spend my senior year with him. Kurt and I got to know each other over the summer obviously, so he mentioned you." Finn nodded and said, "right, Kurt told me about you. It's nice to meet you. You have a really great voice by the way." Rina blushed slightly and said, "oh, thanks. I just like to fool around you know? I'm more of a writer anyhow." Finn nodded his head while smiling at her. He didn't know why or how, but he was convinced that somehow the universe had brought them together; she was going to be important to him.

Suddenly their moment was interrupted by the arrival of the rest of the glee club, along with Mr. Schue. The room erupted into joyous words as those who knew Finn Hudson welcomed him home, the new kids cautiously watching in silence from their seats. Finally the room settled down and Mr. Schue asked Finn, "so what are you doing back here?" Finn sheepishly grinned and then gave Mr. Schue the abridged version of why he was back, "I missed home, and the marines didn't work out, so I wanted to figure things out in a place that felt safe." Mr. Schue patted him on the back and said, "we're happy to have you. Besides we could use your help coming up with a set list for sectionals!" The club erupted into applause as Finn took the seat next to Blaine, hoping his brother's boyfriend would help him get closer to Rina.

* * *

Rina was certain Blaine had been the victim of temporary insanity. Or at least that's what she wanted to believe. However much to her horror she learned that he was running for student class president, was a member of the absolutely ridiculous cheerio team, and president of the superhero club. She was all for the superhero thing, but his other two endeavors left her in shock and without a way home before the hour of five pm. Glee club had ended at 3:30, but there was still an hour and a half left of Blaine's activities.

As the kids all left the choir room Finn overheard Blaine tell Rina, "why don't you just study in the library until 5? I'll try to hurry, I promise." The girl smiled at her best friend and watched him walk out of the room, and Finn noticed a small sense of worry in her eyes. He walked over to her and said, "hey, if you're not busy, do you want to grab some coffee with me, Artie, Tina, and Brittany?"

Rina was surprised at the tall boy's offer, but what choice did she have? It was either sit alone in a library or get to know some of Blaine's friends. After thinking it over, the latter seemed the better option and she replied,"sure, I could always go for a cup of coffee."

The five walked into the Lima Bean on a chilly October afternoon. They were a strange group, four old friends with a stranger in their midst. However they were all curious about the new girl, she seemed to be a fragile person, despite her outward appearance. The ordered their coffees and sat down at a table next to the window and Artie started the conversation, "so new girl, what do you write?" Rina smiled at him and said, "oh, well, I'm writing a play at the moment. It's sort of a mix of romance, tragedy, and science fiction." Brittany looked on in amazement, "so, have you been to space? What are aliens like? Are you an alien?" Rina wrinkled her nose at Brittany's absurd questions, but humored her nonetheless and said, "I haven't met any aliens, but I like to write what I think they'd be like." Brittany looked dejected and said, "she's not cool, she hasn't met aliens." The group just chuckled at her and Tina asked, "what colleges are you applying to?" Rina perked up at her question, she had been considering many options, but having someone other than Blaine bounce her ideas off of was nice. "I was thinking about Hunter, The New School, NYU, Julliard is my dream, they have an amazing fellowship program for playwrights that's highly competitive. That's sort of my pipe dream. Oh and Emerson, but I'm not sure I'll apply there." "Why not? It's a great school for writers" Artie interjected.

"Well," she said quietly, "Blaine will be in New York, and ever since we were little we've said we were going to move there and be famous." "So what's the story with you two anyhow, I mean, for being his best friend Blaine like never talked about you" Tina said.

Rina was saddened by Tina's words. She had known she hadn't been a good friend to Blaine, but it never made her stop to think that it would cause Blaine to erase her from his present, and presumably his future. Rina sighed and said, "honestly, I haven't acted like a best friend to Blaine. When I left Ohio he was a part of a scary past. Sometimes I got so overwhelmed by the memories it was just easier to leave him behind with all of them."

Brittany could sense the table's mood shifting from positive to dark so she changed the subject quickly with, "I think for sectionals this year we should do a Brittany Spears medley with me singing lead. The table laughed and Tina said, "oh no! With Rachel Berry gone, it's my turn to shine!" Artie slapped Tina across the arm and she immediately held her hands up to her mouth and said, "oh Finn, I'm so sorry!"

Finn smiled with great effort but said, "it's okay Tina, I'll get over it eventually."

Rina could sense it was not a subject the boy wanted to spend any more time on so she said, "seriously, what should we sing at sectionals?"

The rest of the afternoon the group discussed song possibilities and duet partners until finally at five thirty Rina got a text from Blaine that read, _I'm here! Let's go home I'm starving! _Rina laughed at the text and said to her new friends, "thanks for coffee guys, looks like my ride is here. See you tomorrow!" The group bid her goodbye and watched as she left the Lima Bean. Finn sat quietly watching her get into Blaine's car, as he did Artie said, "dude, remember Rachel? It's too soon for a rebound." Finn smiled and said, "I just want to be her friend. She looks like she could use a friend, just like I could." Tina, Artie and Brittany looked on at Finn and wondered what had happened to him, he was no longer the epitome of confidence he once was. But that would come out eventually they thought, just like the secrets they knew Rina was hiding behind.


	2. Father of Mine

**Author's Notes:**_First off, I'd like to give a big shout-out to __**Valinsy **__and __**rholou **__following this fic, it means so much to me! Here is the new chapter, filled with lots of angst, and my set up for why Blaine would do something so seemingly out of character in season 4. I have modified some of the lyrics for the song in this chapter, and I mean it with no disrespect to the writers/band, I just felt like making it fit Blaine a little more. Also, a big fuzzy thank you to anyone else who reads this, I love you all. If you want to leave a review I would be more than honored to read it, I want to know if you have any input, or just want to give me constructive criticism on my narrative style or horrible grammar. lol Again thanks, and I hope you enjoy the story. _

* * *

**Chapter 2: Father of Mine**

"WHO ARE YOU?" The glee club gathered into the choir room to see those words sprawled across the dry erase board. As all quieted down Mr. Schue addressed the class and said, "alright, to start this year's assignments, I want each of you to think long and hard about that question. High school is a precious time in your life, you're no longer kids, and you're deciding who you are and how that fits into the rest of the world. So this week I want each of you to think about the answer to that question and choose a song from the year you were born to describe that to the rest of us."

The bell rings and the students leave the room, Finn who had been present looks dejectedly at the floor realizing he has nowhere to go, and no idea of what he wants. Mr. Schue walks over to him and says, "Finn, I think you should do this week's assignment too. Who knows, maybe it will help you realize where you want to go, or who you want to be." Finn smiles and says, "thanks Mr. Schue. That's a great idea."

* * *

Blaine and Rina walk out of the morning's glee club meeting together, Blaine talking about who he is, and who he wants to be. "You know it's funny," he said to Rina, "but when you think about it, we all have moments when we decide who we are." Rina looked at Blaine confused and says, "what do you mean?" "Well I think there are pivotal moments in our lives when we figure it out, you know that kind of define us." Rina nodded knowingly, she got to her locker and as she opened she asked, "so what would be your moment?" "I guess it'd be the night I came out to my parents" he said to her quietly. She nodded absent mindedly, being hurled into a flashback of the night of Sadie Hawkins, the night that had defined her.

* * *

Rina was at Blaine's house, getting ready for the Sadie Hawkins dance. It was a cool November evening, the wind rustled in the leaves outside sending some dancing through the air before gently falling to the ground. They were playing their favorite radio station and trying on different outfits. Rina finally decided on a deep blue dress that looked like it belonged in the 1960's, and Blaine wore a tan suit with a matching blue bowtie. As Rina tied it for him she said, "You know Connor's your date, you should be matching him, not me." Blaine smiled and said, "that's not what my dad thinks." Rina frowned and said, "Blaine, I thought you told your parents that you're gay!" He sighed and said, "I did, but it's still complicated, my dad is still trying to convince me that I need therapy, and my mom just can't seem to pick which side she's on. When I said we were going to the dance my dad actually agreed to let me go because of you. Come on, baby steps Ri." Rina looked into Blaine's eyes and saw such profound sadness that she couldn't deny Blaine. She went back to fixing his bowtie and said, "just so you know, I'm breaking up with you after the dance. I don't do long distance relationships." She chuckled after her statement and Blaine hugged her tight, "thank you Ri. I don't know how I'm going to survive Westerville High without you." After breaking their embrace Rina looked Blaine straight in the eye and said, "I know exactly how you will. With courage."

* * *

"So who is Rina Hendrix?" Blaine asked his friend as they walked away from their lockers. She looked at Blaine and couldn't seem to come up with an answer. Many words came into her mind; fraud, failure, coward, loser. Blaine sensed her sadness and said, "is something bothering you?" She smiled and said, "it's just, when I think about the answer, I don't like it." Blaine looked her in the eye and said, "it's never too late to change the answer." She smiled back and said, "I was hoping you thought so." Blaine smiled at her and said, "but for what it's worth, I don't think you need to." Rina smiled at Blaine and thought to herself, _if only you really knew me._

* * *

At lunch time Blaine and Rina sat with the rest of the Glee club, along with Finn who had been hanging out with Mr. Schue until then. Jake Puckerman was expressing his dissatisfaction with the assignment as Kitty was talking over him about the amazingly sexy Aaliya song she would be singing, but Marley seemed not to notice this as she was making googly eyes at Jake, all while not noticing Ryder was making them at her. Sam and Artie were trading celebrity impressions, Brittany was attempting and failing to establish a Skype chat with Lord Tubbington, and Joe was explaining the pitfalls of materialism to Sugar and Unique who ignored him while peering at the pages of Vogue. Blaine and Tina were talking about the assignment while Finn and Rina tried as best they could to be interested.

Finally Finn said to Rina, "what song will you be singing?" Once again Rina was forced to think about something that she hadn't wanted to give any thought to; who she was. She sat quietly for a moment and then said, "I don't think I can really sing about who I am." Finn looked at her with surprise and said, " why not?" Rina shrugged and said, "I came here to get away from myself. From the person I became after I . . ." her voice quivered at her last words. Finn looked at her with concern but suddenly Blaine said to Rina, "hey, do you remember that band we used to like, they had a song about this deadbeat dad, who was that?" Rina immediately put on a happy face and said, "oh, that was Everclear." "Oh yeah! That's it!" Blaine exclaimed. Rina then began talking to him and Tina, leaving Finn to wonder just what she meant by getting away from herself.

* * *

That night after dinner Mr. Anderson asked Blaine met in his study. Blaine was surprised by his father's request, they rarely talked, and it was usually in the company of his mother or brother Cooper, and about nothing even remotely personal. Naturally then Blaine had reason to worry, would this be the night his father disowned him as he had threatened to the night Blaine came out? He wasn't sure where this conversation would go, but he could only be certain that it would not be easy.

Chandler Anderson was a formidable man. He had a stern yet handsome face. After reading 'The Picture of Dorian Grey' Blaine was convinced his father was a modern day Dorian, hiding a portrait in his study that aged and disfigured while his father remained as handsome as the day he married Beverly. Mr. Anderson ushered Blaine in, closing the door and locking it behind them. The sound of the lock made Blaine jump, and his skin turned cold at his father's words, "sit down son. We need to talk." Blaine composed himself as he sat down across from his father, a cold wooden desk separating the two. "I wanted to talk to you about your future, your plans for college" said Mr. Anderson. Blaine tensed at those words, he knew his father had plenty of money to send him to whatever school he wanted, but would he support his son going to NYADA or some other performing arts school? Blaine steadied himself and said, "I want to go to NYADA. I'm going to apply to a few other schools in New York as well, but whatever I do, and where ever I am it will be in New York, with Kurt."

Mr. Anderson's eyes narrowed as he looked at his son, this was the last straw. He had allowed Blaine to chase these wild dreams, had watched his older son become a joke amongst his inner circle for chasing after an impossibility; and even if Blaine had the talent, even though he believe Blaine had what it took, the spark that Cooper lacked, he couldn't let his family name become a joke to those he knew. Mr. Anderson rubbed his temples and said to Blaine, "I made a mistake letting Cooper go off and chase those silly dreams, I can't let you do that too. You have to be sensible Blaine, you have to think about what will give you a good future, what will help you support yourself." Blaine knew what his father meant, and he wasn't talking about being financially secure.

Finally Blaine said, "a good future dad, or a straight one?" Mr. Anderson slammed his fists on the desk top, "damn it Blaine!" Blaine jumped at the loud impact but remained firm, he knew what he wanted, he knew who he wanted to be, and it was the polar opposite of the man that sat across the room from him.

"I can't be who you want me to be," Blaine pleaded to his father, "I will work as hard as I can, I'll take out student loans if I have to, but I am not going to give up on my dreams to please you. I have tried as best I can to make you see that I'm not like Cooper, I'm not going to just strike out on my own thinking I already know everything. I want to get an education and be the best I can be. I know I have it in me dad. But you won't see that, because I'm gay. And you know what, I don't need you, or your money. I am going to leave this house and I am going to be the best man I can be, I am going to love Kurt with everything I have and treat him better than you ever treated mom, do you know why? Because I had the worst example set before me. And I hope to never be like you!"

At those words something inside of Chandler Anderson broke, his entire life had been shattered at the words of his son. He had always known that he and Blaine hadn't gotten along, his unwillingness to support his son's love had worn Blaine thin, but he never foresaw it coming to this. He would never be able to show Blaine the immense hurt he felt, he had too much pride for that. So after a few seconds Mr. Anderson said, "if that's how you feel son, I guess we have nothing further to discuss." Blaine got up and walked out of the study, slamming the door behind him.

After Blaine left Mr. Anderson opened a small drawer to his desk and pulled out a key to a locked file cabinet. In the cabinet was a file with a date on it, November 28, 2009. In the file was the police report filed on the night of the Sadie Hawkins dance, along with photos of the wounds inflicted upon Blaine, Connor, and Rina. Blaine's wounds were the worst; he had suffered a broken leg, five broken ribs, two black eyes, a concussion, and a collapsed lung. It would take three days for Blaine to wake from his coma, the worst three days of Mr. Anderson's life. It was during that time that he vowed he would never let this happen to his son again, and the only way he knew would be to convince Blaine he wasn't gay. Ultimately Mr. Anderson, although initially shocked by his son's revelation, was growing accustomed to the idea his son was gay. He had been planning to tell him so after the Sadie Hawkins dance. He knew with his son's understanding and patience, he could come to accept the person Blaine knew he was. But seeing him so helpless, so broken, so lifeless in that hospital room had left Mr. Anderson with no choice. He only knew one way to make the world stop hurting his son, and that was to make his son like the rest of the world. But by doing so, he would only be hurting Blaine in a way he had never anticipated.

* * *

Blaine ran up the stairs to the guest room Rina was staying in, his eyes filled with tears and he ran in, not caring to knock or make sure she was ready to receive him. Rina was lying on her bed talking to her sister Melody when she saw Blaine suddenly enter the room. Blaine stood looking at her with tears in her eyes and he heard her say, "Mel, I gotta go, but I'll be home when you tell mom and dad. Love you." Rina hung up her phone and ran to Blaine who collapsed to the floor in his best friends arms saying, "I can't do this anymore. Why won't he just love me?" Rina didn't have to ask who Blaine was referring to, she already knew he must have had a rough conversation with his father. She picked him up and brought him to her bed, he lied down with his head on her lap crying out his frustration and sadness. She gently stroked his hair and said, "Blaine, I'm so sorry." He cried for a while, letting his worries fall from his face, but finally he registered the irony of the moment and sat up to face her.

"You know, I should be mad at you too, in fact I am mad at you," he said to her angrily. Rina knew he was justified, she knew Blaine had a lot of reasons to be angry with her, so she decided to let him go, she wanted to finally take the punishment she so rightly deserved. "You're just like me father, you haven't been there for me when I needed you most. I thought you would stay with me after Sadie Hawkins, I asked you to. What kind of a best friend just leaves you behind after something like that? And Connor too, he was such a good friend to you too! I mean he always knew you were jealous of him but he didn't let it bother him, he was always so nice to you."

Rina felt herself well with rage now. She had known that when Blaine finally let himself go, when he told her how he really felt that it would hurt like nothing else, but she soon realized that this was more than she bargained for. However she tried as best as she could to remain calm and asked, "what do you mean Connor knew I was jealous?"

Blaine sniggered under his breath at her words and said, "Connor knew you were in love with me, but he let that go. It was pretty funny actually, he called you my hag." With Blaine's words she felt her own eyes well with tears. It was true, she had secretly loved him despite knowing he was gay, but she had never known that even back then he would be that cruel, seemingly using her feelings for him against her.

"So that's what I am to you then?" she shouted. "I'm just the pathetic hag you allowed to be in your presence. No wonder you expected me to stay, you were counting on the fact that I was just this lovesick puppy dog who would stay with you no matter what. But you should have known better, I had the chance to leave this stupid town behind, to leave all you losers behind and become something great. Well now I am someone great, and I'm going to be famous, and I am more talented that you'll ever be. I'm not the jealous one Blaine. YOU ARE!" As soon as she released the words from her mouth Rina wanted to take them all back, but she couldn't. They were out, and their damage was done.

"Get the hell out of my house," Blaine said to her. "By the end of the week I want you gone, and I never want to see you again. Ever." He turned to walk out of her room and she said to him, "I hope you don't plan on working on Broadway then, because you'll never be in a show of mine." He ran from her room and into his, throwing himself on his bed, crying out of shame and regret. He knew he hadn't meant what he said to Rina and he wanted Kurt back. He called his boyfriend, but he didn't pick up. Instead of leaving a voicemail he hung up and cried himself to sleep, wondering who he was, because the person he had been just now, the one who yelled at his best friend and father, that wasn't who he wanted to be at all.

* * *

The next morning Blaine awoke early and left for school before Rina was finished getting ready. Whenever he needed to clear his head he would go to the auditorium and think. Something about the emptiness of a blank stage helped him to picture his own mind bare, open, and ready to be filled with new thoughts. But when he got there his words to his father and best friend haunted him, and he needed to do the only thing he could to exercise the demons, sing.

When Rina realized Blaine had left her behind the next morning she felt as though she had really damaged their relationship irreparably. She went to McKinley going on a hunch and get feeling, silently hoping that she would be right about one thing, about where Blaine would be that morning.

* * *

Rina walked into the auditorium to see Blaine standing on the stage alone except for the glee club band. They started playing and immediately she knew what song he would be singing. She pulled out her iPhone to record his performance. If there was one thing she could do right, she knew it was this.

Blaine stood on the stage, tears in his eyes, ready to give it all away, ready to leave it all behind in that room, wishing his father could hear the words meant for him.

_Father of mine  
Tell me where have you been  
You know I just closed my eyes  
My whole world disappeared  
Father of mine  
Take me back to the day  
Yeah when I was still your golden boy  
Back before you went away_

_I remember blue skies_  
_Walking the block_  
_I loved it when you held me high_  
_I loved to hear you talk_  
_You would take me to the movie_  
_You would take me to the beach_  
_You would take me to a place inside_  
_That's so hard to reach_

_Oh_

_Father of mine_  
_Tell me where did you go_  
_Yeah you had the world inside your hand_  
_But you did not seem to know_  
_Father of mine_  
_Tell me what do you see_  
_When you look back at your wasted life_  
_And you don't see me_

_I was ten years old_  
_Doing all that I could_  
_It wasn't easy for me_  
_To be a scared gay boy_  
_In a straight neighborhood_  
_Sometimes you would send me a birthday card_  
_With a five dollar bill_  
_I never understood you then_  
_And I guess I never will_

_Daddy gave me a name_  
_My daddy gave me a name_  
_Then he walked away_  
_Daddy gave me a name_  
_Then he walked away_  
_My daddy gave me a name_

_Oh yeah_  
_Oh yeah_

_Daddy gave me a name_  
_Daddy gave me a name_  
_Then he walked away_  
_Daddy gave me a name_  
_Then he walked away_  
_My daddy gave me a name_

_Yeah_  
_Yeah_  
_Oh yeah_

_Father of mine_  
_Tell me where have you been_  
_Yea I just closed my eyes_  
_And the world disappeared_  
_Father of mine_  
_Tell me how do you sleep_  
_With the son that you've forgotten_  
_And the scars I saw you leave_

_I will never be safe_  
_I will never be sane_  
_I will always be weird inside_  
_I will always be lame_  
_Now that I'm a grown man_  
_With a life of my own_  
_And I swear I'll never let it show_  
_All the pain I have known_

_Then he walked away_  
_Daddy gave me a name_  
_Then he walked away_  
_My daddy gave me a name_  
_Then he walked away_  
_My daddy gave me a name_  
_Then he walked away_  
_My daddy gave me a name_

_Then he walked away (yeah)_  
_Then he walked away (yeah)_  
_Then he walked away (oh yeah)_

As Blaine finished the song he sat on the floor sobbing, wishing his father would know and understand his pain, wishing his best friend was there to hold him, wishing that his boyfriend was there to love him. But no one was, he was alone, and he suddenly realized that's what defined him and made him who he was; his abject fear of being alone.

* * *

Rina walked out of the auditorium crying, she knew her friend needed her, but so did her family, and she had to leave, at least for a little while, after all that's what Blaine had said he wanted. But she would be back, she would return, and she hoped that in the meantime she could set right something that had gone wrong. She sent a text message to Mr. Anderson with the video of Blaine's performance and wrote the words, _I want you to see your son Mr. Anderson, I want you to know how he really feels, that he loves you more than you know. –Rina_

After she sent the text message she walked out to the parking lot where a taxi was waiting for her. She got in a said to the driver, "airport please". On her way there she silently prayed, _help me make this right_, hoping that the letter she left for Blaine and the video she sent to his father would give her a way to come back.


	3. Don't Look Back in Anger

**Author's Notes: **_Hello readers! Thank you so much for tuning in for another chapter and a super big thank you to Alex B Good for leaving a review! I'm sorry this one took so long to write, but it was a rather emotional chapter and also a pivotal point in the story, so I wanted to make sure I got it right. As always thanks for reading, and if you have suggestions, please drop me a line! _

* * *

**Don't Look Back in Anger**

Blaine went to glee club that morning and saw that Rina wasn't there. By third period English class she was still nowhere to be found, and at lunch he couldn't find her in the cafeteria. He knew he had been hard on her, he knew his words must have hurt her. But _that didn't justify her leaving_ he thought, _what about the song? What about never having to forgive her again? What about not giving up? It was all a waste_ he thought, _and I can never trust her again. _He picked up his phone and dialed Kurt's number, after several rings Kurt finally answered, "Blaine, I'm working can we talk later!" Blaine was hurt by the rushed and scolding tone in Kurt's voice but he pressed on and said, "Rina left, we got in a fight last night and she left!"

Kurt let out a sigh on the other end of the line and said, "well I can't say I didn't see this coming. You know how she is Blaine, you said so yourself that she's a drifter. Did you really think that this time would be different?" Blaine began to get frustrated, he could tell Kurt's mind was elsewhere, and he was looking for sympathy, compassion, empathy, anything that could make the two of them feel connected and not hundreds of miles away.

Blaine continued his story, "it's not just her, my dad and I got in this fight last night too and then I snapped at her." As he was talking he could hear someone saying something to Kurt on the other end of the phone and then Kurt said, "Blaine I have to go, there's a crisis in the wardrobe department." Before he could even say goodbye Kurt had hung up the phone, leaving Blaine feeling as though there was absolutely no one on his side, that his worst fears had finally come true. He was alone and no one cared. As he felt himself grow more and more despondent he got a text message from an old friend, more like a ghost from his past. The text said; _hey Blaine, I know we haven't seen each other since Sadie Hawkins, but I can't stop thinking about you lately. Could you meet me after school some time? - Connor _

Blaine smiled at the message, but he was also afraid. He hadn't seen Connor in three years, after the night of "the beating" Connor had literally disappeared. He had left the hospital long before Blaine and never set foot in Westerville High again, after vain attempts to track him down Blaine simply gave up hope of ever finding his friend again, and with him he took a piece of Blaine, his first heartbreak.

* * *

In glee rehearsal that afternoon Mr. Schue noticed Rina was missing so he asked Blaine, "is Rina okay?" Blaine shrugged his shoulders and said, "how should I know?" Mr. Schue frowned at Blaine's uncharacteristically gristly tone and said, "is everything alright Blaine?" Blaine glowered at Mr. Schue and said, "what do you care?" When Finn heard him he stepped in and said, "dude, what's up, this isn't like you." Blaine laughed at him and said, "how would you know? What do you, or any of you know about me? I'm out of here!" Sam got out of his seat to stop Blaine grabbing his arm but Blaine shoved him forcefully aside and said, "not today Sam." Sam let Blaine go and everyone in glee club was left to wonder just what was wrong with the boy and where his best friend was. As Blaine walked out of the school he pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed a number. After three rings a young man answered, "Blaine?" Blaine smiled and said, "I need to see you, now. Can you meet me?"

* * *

Finn wasn't one to be worried about anyone, but after being away from Rachel Berry and suffering a terrible breakup he had slowly changed, he had grown more sensitive to the feelings of others; which is why it disturbed him to see Blaine so brooding and unhappy. He wasn't one to snoop, but when Mr. Schue left him alone in his office he couldn't resist the opportunity to get to the bottom of why Blaine was so moody and why Rina had been absent from school that day. He looked through the personal files and found Rina's phone number; he knew Blaine wouldn't open up to him, so Rina was his only shot. He put her number in his phone and walked out of Mr. Schue's office, waiting for an opportune moment to call her and find out what was happening to Blaine.

* * *

Connor Levitt was one year older than Blaine Anderson, he had graduated from high school with average grades, was attending college in Ohio, and had never quite lived up to the big dreams he had once entertained. Blaine agreed to meet him that afternoon at his apartment, but once there he couldn't bring himself to go up the stairs and see Connor. He had once more tried to call Kurt but only gotten his voicemail. He waited for a text from Rina, a sign from heaven, anything that would convince him not to see Connor, but nothing came. Finally, feeling more disappointed than ever before he turned off his phone and threw it in his glove box.

_What a funny name he thought, I've never put gloves in there, it should be called a map box, or the owner's manual compartment_. As he thought this he heard a knock on the window to his car and there was Connor. He looked different from how Blaine remembered him; his green eyes were dull and sad. His jet black hair contrasted with his pale skin, it didn't glisten in the sunlight like Kurt's it was flat and limp on his skinny frame. Blaine smiled nonetheless at his friend and opened his car door. Connor smiled back at him and said, "I was beginning to think you weren't going to get out of the car." Blaine got out and slammed his car door shut; he locked the car, put his keys in his pocket and said, "it's so good to see you Connor."

* * *

Finn wasn't sure that calling Rina was a good idea but he had run out of options. He had tried calling Blaine but his phone was off. When he called Kurt he got an angry voice that said, "I can't talk now Finn and Rachel's fine bye." It had been a long time since Finn had felt awkward calling a girl, but this wasn't just any girl. She was different, which is why he wanted to get to know her, but also why she scared him. When he had finally worked up enough courage to call her he dialed the number, shaking slightly as the phone rang. After only two rings a worried voice answered, "hello, Blaine?" Finn stammered, "uh no, this is Finn. Finn Hudson, Blaine's friend." Just as he finished speaking she quickly said, "is he alright?" Finn exhaled deeply and said, "that's what I want to know." Rina held back her tears and said, "how do I explain?"

* * *

It had been six hours since Mr. Anderson had gotten Rina's text message, and he didn't know what to do. He could see just how broken his son was, he could sense Rina's profound concern for her friend, but he couldn't seem to fit himself into the puzzle. Even if he tried to apologize to Blaine, even if he explained his irrational reasoning behind his behavior, would it be enough to mend the broken bond with his son? There was only one way to find out, and Chandler Anderson resolved that he would try; somehow, he would make it right.

* * *

Blaine and Connor talked mostly of insignificant things at first, both afraid of what talking about Sadie Hawkins would do. Finally it was Connor that broke the ice, "so how is Rina?" he asked. Blaine chuckled slightly and said, "she's not really in my life anymore." Connor shook his head, "that's too bad, I guess Sadie Hawkins messed us all up." Blaine looked at Connor quizzically, "what do you mean by that?" Connor shrugged and said, "oh you know, she didn't get beat up as badly as we did, but she must still have traumatic memories. I mean it couldn't have been easy for her to find us lying there." Blaine's eyes widened at Connor's words and he said, "what do you mean she found us?"

Connor looked at Blaine with worry, he had always known that Blaine wasn't strong, that of all of them he would pay the highest price, but he had never known that he might not know all of the details of that night. "She came looking for us," he said, "she came outside to give me my scarf that I had left at the table. When she came outside she saw those guys beating the living crap out of us. She screamed for help but not before they got a hold of her and gave her a black eye and some bruised ribs." Blaine began to feel even more regret at his actions towards her; he suddenly realized that there must have been a lot that he didn't know about that night. Feeling weary he looked at Connor and said, "tell me all you know about that night."

* * *

For some inexplicable reason Rina Hendrix felt safe with Finn Hudson, even if he was hundreds of miles away on the other end of a telephone. There was something charming and warm about his voice, and his concern for Blaine endeared him to her. Rina's head was swimming wildly with worry for Blaine and concern for her own family. She had gone back to Chicago to support her sister Melody who was pregnant and divorcing her cheating husband. But all of this paled in comparison to the gigantic mess she had made with Blaine. She began to tell Finn what had happened with Blaine and his father, between the two of them, and the growing concern that she had truly pushed him to the limit of their friendship. Finn listened to the girl intently, several times she had stopped to sob, only to bring herself back into composure and carry on with her story. Finally when she was finished Finn asked her, "does Blaine know about that night? What you went through?" Rina let her head fall and said to Finn, "if I told him, he'd know that I didn't do everything I could to protect him." Finn didn't know how to comfort her beyond that point. She was truly in a territory he had never been in, one that he wasn't sure how to come back from.

* * *

Connor obliged Blaine's request but not before saying, "if you want me to tell you, we're both going to need a drink." After pouring two glasses of whiskey Connor took a sip and said, "when you and I left the dance she realized I had left my scarf behind. What a funny girl she was, running after me for a scarf; but I've often wondered what would have happened if she hadn't. She saved us Blaine." Blaine's heart began to grow heavier and heavier, he had no idea that she had been the one to save them. He knew she had run outside, but the version she had told him had conveniently left that detail out. He drank down the whiskey Connor had poured and then stuck it out for more. Connor obliged and then continued.

"When she came out she found us. The police never told me what exactly happened when the guys who were beating us got to her, and all I can remember is hearing her scream before I blacked out. The next morning I asked my mom to call her, I wanted to make sure she was alright. When she came to see me she had makeup on, but that didn't hide the shiner they left on her pretty face." Blaine could only imagine what she must have looked like, by the time he had woken up her bruise had faded, and she explained it away by saying she had fallen and hit her head on the curb trying to get to them. He never thought that she was lying, that there was much more to her story than she had let on. Blaine had been so focused on his own worries, his own need for comfort in the absence of his father and mother that he never stopped to think that the events of that night had changed her as deeply as him.

Connor took another drink and continued, "she told me that once the guys got her they stopped hurting us and ganged up on her, when she wouldn't stop screaming they smacked her around a bit, but then the teachers came and the guys ran. Someone dialed 911, I remember coming to for just a second, Mr. Abrams was standing over me, and she was with you, just pleading with you to wake up. I blacked out again, and she wouldn't tell me anything more."

Blaine finally couldn't stand it anymore, he began to sob uncontrollably, and Connor wrapped him up in a hug. As Blaine's tears finally started to dry Connor turned to him and said, "I'm sorry that I abandoned you, I shouldn't have just disappeared on you, I was older, I should have known better. I knew that Rina was leaving and that your parents were jerks, but I just ran. I'm so sorry Blaine." Blaine looked at Connor and said, "just shut up." Suddenly Blaine's body was thrown onto Connor's and the next few moments were a blur. Blaine's conscience had been wiped away with alcohol, and with only his emotions to guide him he started down a path he had never before imagined he would go.

* * *

Saturday morning Mr. Anderson contemplated calling the police. His son hadn't come home on Friday night and he wasn't answering his phone. Although he didn't really think Blaine would stay out all night, he was beginning to realize that his son was far more unpredictable since Rina had stayed with them. He felt as though something must have happened between them as well as his conversation with Blaine, so instead of calling the police he called Rina. Before he realized it was six am Rina answered her phone presumably from a dead sleep, "hello" she grumbled sleepily. "Rina, I'm sorry I woke you, this is Mr. Anderson." Rina sat up with a start in her bed and said, "oh no, is Blaine alright? Please tell me he's okay," she pleaded. Mr. Anderson felt for the girl but he said, "Blaine didn't come home last night, I don't know what to do." Rina sighed heavily and said, "if he's not home by this afternoon, call the police. He might have needed time to clear his head. I wouldn't worry just yet Mr. Anderson, Blaine is trying to process a lot right now." Chandler Anderson felt relieved at Rina's words, if she thought Blaine would need time, surely it wasn't out of character for him to do this. Then he asked, "did you two get in a fight before you left?" Rina couldn't lie to Mr. Anderson, and if she were more alert she would have been startled at the sudden interest he was showing in his son, finally she said, "yes, and I'm not sure I can come back." Mr. Anderson cleared his throat, making sure his voice was strong and clear for his next words, "you have to come back Rina. I need your help, Blaine needs your help. I'm afraid for my son, and I think he needs to know the truth about that night, the whole truth. Your truth." Rina felt her energy sapped at his words and said, "I don't think he'll forgive me Mr. Anderson." Chandler was pained at her words but said, "if we work together, I think he'll forgive both of us."

* * *

Blaine woke up to a surprisingly sunny Saturday morning, it was late September, and usually it was grey and cloudy by then. At first he felt a little foggy about where he was and what had happened the night before, but as he sat up on the edge of the bed he suddenly realized where he was and his stomach felt like it had crashed to the floor. Connor was in the bathroom brushing his teeth and then her heard a loud thud come from his bedroom. He ran over and saw Blaine sobbing uncontrollably on the floor, as if he had just murdered someone. Connor tried to soothe him saying, "Blaine was that your first time last night? I'm so sorry! I didn't even think to check and make sure you wanted this, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" Blaine looked up at Connor, his face red with tears staining his cheeks, "I have a boyfriend Connor. He lives in New York. I just cheated on my boyfriend!" Connor backed away from Blaine as if somehow that would absolve him of the guilt he shared in that sin, but even he couldn't run away from it. "Why didn't you tell me that!" Connor shouted at Blaine. "I am not the kind of guy to do something like that, what were you thinking?" Blaine looked at him with deep regret and said, "I was mad at Kurt because he kept pushing me aside, he kept making me feel as if I wasn't important. And Rina left me, and my father's disowning me, i came here and you were here and I needed someone, and it just felt right, and I don't know. I've screwed up Connor, I want Rina back, how can I get her back? And Kurt, he's never going to forgive me, and . . . I . . . I just want my dad!" with his last words Blaine broke into another fit of uncontrollable sobbing, and Connor sat beside him saying, "we'll figure this out kid. One step at a time."

* * *

After much more convincing Rina agreed to go back to Ohio, and Mr. Anderson bought her a plane ticket. After getting off the phone with him she was surprised to see her mother standing in her doorway with mail. "This just came," her mother said. Her mom gave her an envelope with a return address to Julliard, and inside was an invitation to audition for whichever program she chose. Although it was simply an audition it felt like a bright spot in a rather dark period in her life, and she was sad that she couldn't share it with the one person she wanted to, Blaine. She smiled slightly and said to her mother, "this moment should feel better you know. I should be more excited, I should be sharing this with . . ." somehow she couldn't finish. Her mother smiled at her and said, "call him, you two can work it out. After all you saved his life." Her mother kissed her forehead and then walked out of the room. As her mother left she thought to herself, if only he knew the truth.

* * *

Finally Blaine stopped crying enough to talk with Connor, he told him all about his broken relationship with his father, his life at Dalton, his love for Kurt, and now his intense regret at his words to Rina. Finally when Blaine had no words left to say Connor spoke, "there's a lot for you to deal with, and you have to tackle each issue one at a time. Right now, more than anything you need a friend to stand by you. You need her, and she needs you. I could see it from the moment we met Blaine, if you were ever going to love girls, she would be the only one. That's why it hurt you when she left, because deep down inside you love her, and even deeper down, you wish you could love her."

Blaine looked at Connor and knew he was right, he knew that no matter what happened between them he was always going to need Rina. That's why he had asked her to stay, and why he was so broken when she left. His facade had finally given way, and now he was that same bleeding pathetic figure that he had fought so hard to leave behind in the Westerville High School parking lot. But now he had hope, now he knew that someone was there, someone had been there to protect him, and she had possibly sacrificed more than he would have ever guessed. But would she come back this time? Would she be true to her word and make up for her past mistakes? Or was it time for him to atone for all the ones he had made, starting with her? Whatever move he made, whatever steps he took he knew it had to start with her; and hope that together they could correct all he had done wrong.

Blaine looked at Connor and said, "I need to go home." He got up, put on his coat, and said, "Goodbye Connor." The boy looked back at Blaine, this time glowing, no doubt from a feeling of closure and said, "Goodbye Blaine."

Blaine got into his car and opened the glove box getting his phone out. He turned it on and noticed three rather remarkable things, (1) Kurt hadn't called him back, (2) Rina texted him three words, _read the letter, _and (3) there were 15 missed calls from his father's cell phone. He noticed there was a voicemail and so he listened to it.

_Blaine, son, I don't know where you are tonight, and I don't know if you're alright. I know we fought, and I know we don't always see eye to eye, but I still care about you. I still worry, I love you very much. Please come home. _

Blaine's emotions were worn thin, but for some reason he couldn't react to his father's message, _was that really true? Does he really worry? Did he really care that I hadn't come home? _Although he desperately wanted to know the answers he knew he couldn't deal with trying to find out. But he had to go home, whatever happened next, that was the only place it could happen. He turned on his engine and backed out of the parking space. He turned the radio on hoping music would distract him, but he didn't bargain for finding a song that would only remind him of his current situation.

_Slip inside the eye of your mind  
Don't you know you might find  
A better place to play  
You said that you've never been  
But all the things that you've seen  
They slowly fade away  
So I'll start a revolution from my bed  
'cause you said the brains I had went to my head  
Step outside, summertime's in bloom  
Stand up beside the fireplace  
Take that look from off your face  
You ain't ever gonna burn my heart out _

Blaine started to cry once more, he thought of Kurt and how much it had hurt him to know that his boyfriend's life was speeding forward, while his own life came crashing to a halt. However, it would seem that soon Kurt's would too, as soon as Blaine found a way to tell him what he'd done.

_And so, Sally can wait  
She knows it's too late as we're walking on by  
Her soul slides away  
But don't look back in anger  
I heard you say  
Take me to the place where you go  
Where nobody knows if it's night or day  
Please don't put your life in the hands  
Of a rock and roll band  
Who'll throw it all away_

Now he thought of Rina, all she had done to keep him safe, and all the struggles she had faced since, presumably on her own, as never once had Blaine heard her speak of the night that changed his life. Despite everything, she wasn't angry; sad, broken and confused maybe, but she didn't seem angry, and suddenly Blaine wanted to learn to do the same. To not look back in anger.

_I'm gonna start a revolution from my bed  
cause you said the brains I had went to my head  
Step outside, cause summertime's in bloom  
Stand up beside the fireplace  
Take that look from off your face  
cause you ain't ever gonna burn my heart out  
So, Sally can wait  
She knows it's too late as she's walking on by  
My soul slides away  
But don't look back in anger  
I heard you say _

Through the tears Blaine sings along with song, realizing he had just found the real song that defined him, the song he would sing in glee club that week. That is, if he was still in it.

_So, Sally can wait  
She knows it's too late as we're walking on by  
Her soul slides away  
But don't look back in anger  
I heard you say  
So, Sally can wait  
She knows it's too late as she's walking on by  
My soul slides away  
But don't look back in anger  
Don't look back in anger  
I heard you say  
At least not today._


	4. I'm Lost Without You

**Author's Notes: ** _I'm so sorry I've been gone so long! I hope all of you are still interested! I wrote this for Cory Monteith, he may no longer be able to play Finn, but Finn can live on in fanfiction forever. Also, this chapter is quite intense, with slightly graphic descriptions of violence. However it feels real, and that's what I wanted, for it to feel real. I hope you all like Rina, and understand her. And in case you were wondering, I envision Cassie Steele (the Canadian actress) playing Rina, so that's what she looks like. Thanks again for reading. If you'd like to give criticism I am more than happy to hear it. :) _

* * *

He couldn't tell you how he got home, if he was alone or if his parents were home, or even how he had ended up staring at the letter on his bed. Nonetheless, Blaine was staring at the beginning of his future, and the remnants of his past; and he was afraid of them both. He was growing afraid that he would read the letter and lose his nerve, but what if the letter held no hope of Rina ever returning? Or what if it held the key to her return? Whatever the outcome; there was only one option, to move forward. And no matter what happened, things would only get better if he did. He picked up the letter and sat down on his bed, gingerly opening the envelope and pulling out the folded note. He closed his eyes in fear of reading a single word out of context, and when he had steadied himself he opened them and hungrily read the words on the page.

_Dear Blaine, _

_ I'm sorry. I know that probably means absolutely nothing to you, but I have to say it just one more time. I have to go home, Melody needs me, and I'm not sure you do anymore. I wish I could have lived up to my promise, that I would always be there for you and that you would never have to forgive me again, but it seems I'm not good at keeping them. I hope you find better friends in life, I hope you find happiness with Kurt forever and always, and I hope you achieve all your dreams. If you ever find room in your heart to forgive me, I hope you will come and find me. I will never stop loving you or caring about you, and I hope you never forget that. _

_Your friend, _

_Rina_

Blaine put down the letter and let out a sigh. He was happy to know that his friend hadn't abandoned him, that she was still looking to be connected with him. But did he deserve her friendship? She had never told him just how she had suffered to protect him, and she didn't seem to think it important enough to put it in her letter to him; but it was important. She had stood by him, suffered for him and with him, when no one else was willing to. He began to think back to his hospital room; the sights, smells and sounds coming back into a perfectly clear and painful memory.

* * *

Blaine awoke after three days of sleep in room 346 of Westerville Community Hospital. It was dark in his room, the sunlight blocked out to protect his recovering head and eyes. He looked to his left and saw a figure lying in the 'family cot' that was next to his bed. His eyes still heavy with sleep he softly called out "mom?" The figure stirred herself awake, but it wasn't his mother, it was his best friend Rina. She rushed to his side and said, "Blaine, you're awake!"

Blaine blinked up at her and he said, "where are my mom and dad?" She looked sad, or maybe she wasn't, he was having trouble reading her expression as she was rather stoic and unchanging. She looked at him and said, "they're at work, let me call the nurse."

Due to his concussion Blaine was having trouble processing all that was going on, but about an hour after waking up he was ready to ask questions about the last thing he remembered. Once his nurse had left his room he looked at Rina and noticed she had a bruise on her right eye. "How'd you get that?" he asked pointing at her face. She shrugged, "I fell, I was running in my heels when I heard that an ambulance was coming, and you know what a clutz I am in heels." Blaine could hear something strange in her voice, but he was too tired to analyze what it was or why.

"Did you see what happened?" he asked Rina. She nodded her head 'no' and said, "I was too late, the teachers were already outside and they weren't letting anyone close to you two." He suddenly realized that he hadn't been alone that night, that he wasn't the only one attacked, "Connor" was all he could mutter. Rina knew he would want an explanation so she said, "Connor is okay. Your injuries were the worst; he's already left the hospital." Blaine nodded and then realized he had no idea of where he was in relation to time, and asked, "what day is it?" "It's Wednesday, now no more questions, the police will be here soon to talk to you." He stayed silent, he didn't know what to say, and formulating thoughts and sentences seemed to hurt him anyhow. He tried to remember that night, what had happened, the face or voices of his attackers, but he couldn't remember anything. His last memory was of Connor, looking up at him and realizing he had left his scarf in the gymnasium, but thinking he was happy, because the flesh on Connor's neck looked to warm and inviting. After that, there was nothing, not a sound, not a sight, or a thought. Before he had even acknowledged the passage of more time the police came to interview him. Try as he might he couldn't provide them with any information, and pleaded with God, if there even was one, to help him remember anything.

After a while they left, and as they walked out of his room one of the officers saw Rina sitting in the waiting room. The officer walked over to her and said, "if he remembers anything, or you do, please call us. Nothing is too insignificant; we want to catch the boys responsible, for your sake and his. " Rina nodded in acknowledgement and walked back into Blaine's room. When she saw him she felt an incomprehensible sense of grief. He was lying in his bed, looking blankly at the wall, his eyes bruised and bloodshot, his ribs wrapped to keep them in place, his leg in a cast, a heart monitor beeping quietly in the background. She asked him if he wanted water but got no reply, so she said, "why don't you get some rest?"

Blaine registered her words, but her voice didn't match the words she was saying. He could hear fear in her voice, sadness, he could tell she was hurting too, but he couldn't seem to care. More than anything he wanted his father, the man who had once been in his life and made everything alright. But his father's absence spoke louder than words, and he knew the day had come, the day when he was no longer loved. As the stinging realization set in he began to sob, and Rina did something he never knew she could. Rina climbed into his bed and pulled him close, letting him cry on her chest. The more he cried the tighter he clutched on to her arms and waist. He had never felt this kind of love or protection from her, but somehow she had risen to the occasion, not even crying herself. She rocked him gently and said, "I'm here now Blaine. You're safe now."

* * *

Blaine decided it was time to move forward, time to take the first step in a long line of steps he would have to in order to make things right, one person at a time. He pulled out his phone and texted Rina, he knew if he heard her voice it would no doubt cause another fit of tears; he typed _please come home, I need you. I'm sorry about what I said, but I need my best friend right now. _He hesitated sending the message off, he was worried about what she would say back, but he found the courage within and let his heart go to Chicago with his text. Not a few moments later he got a text back, she replied, _I'll be home Sunday, I love you Blaine. _

He smiled, although it was bittersweet to know that she was the only one who would say that to him for a while, at least she still was, and it seemed she would never stop.

* * *

Finn thought about his conversation with Rina the night before. He had heard Kurt talk about Blaine's 'horrible past' in rather vague terms, not really knowing any of the details attached; but now with Rina's words he couldn't help but feel for Blaine, and regret over his own past actions. Fear was an ugly thing, it caused ignorance, violence, and pain; he could see now that he needed to stop being afraid. His whole life he had been driven by fear, fear of losing the memory of his father, fear of losing popularity, fear of losing the girl he loved. After hearing Rina's story he realized that her fear had caused her to make the biggest mistake of all, and he never wanted to have to come back from something that heavy, but he would do everything to help her come back from that place; starting with giving her a ride home from the airport on Sunday.

* * *

Mr. Anderson was relieved to have his son home. He could sense Blaine was hurting, he could feel the pain radiating off of his son, and he couldn't deny the role he played in his son's sorrow. But he had to try and make things right. Even if it was too late, even if things could never be the same, he would try. He wasn't sure where to start, but he had to start sometime, otherwise things would just get worse.

Mr. Anderson walked up the stairs to his son's room. He stared at the closed door as if it was the gateway to hell, but it was his own doing. If behind that door held all the wrath of his son, it was only because he wasn't a good father; it was only because he had failed. Now was not the time for fear, it was the time to try to make amends, no matter what it cost him. He knocked on Blaine's door, and asked, "son, can I come in?" Blaine answered his father coldly, "I'd rather be alone." Mr. Anderson sighed, he knew this would be an uphill battle, he knew he would have many failures before he began to win, but he couldn't let go until he knew he had done everything possible. He cleared this throat then said, "I'm just glad you're home, and I want you to know, where ever you want to go to school is great with me. Just don't go to Yale, okay?"

Blaine shot up from his bed and to the door, he swung it open wildly and said, "wait, what?" Mr. Anderson felt himself give an inward sigh of relief and said, "just not Yale, you know how I feel about Yale." He walked away from his son's room feeling as if he had triumphed. In the grand scheme of things this meant nothing, it did nothing to resolve the years of pain and heartache he had inflicted upon his son, but it was a start. Blaine's coming to the door and opening it meant he was open to reconciliation, and in that moment, that was all Mr. Anderson could ask for. But it was more than enough.

* * *

Sunday finally came and Rina stepped on the plane back to Lima. She wasn't certain what Blaine had meant when he asked her to come back, saying "I need my best friend", but she wouldn't let that bother her; she was happy enough knowing that she was being allowed to come back at all. The plane ride was short, as there wasn't much distance between Illinois and Ohio. Rina collected her belongings and walked out of the plane, through the terminal, and out to baggage claim. Finn was waiting for her, his back turned to her, and she approached slowly and quietly. As she finally got to him she tapped his shoulder lightly and he turned around to face her. As they stood face to face she realized how small she was in relation to him; he was nearly a foot taller than her. "Thank you," she said to Finn.

Finn smiled at Rina, there was something so fragile about her, he wanted to protect her, for some reason he felt it was up to him to do so. Finn pulled her into a hug and said, "I'm glad you came back, I'm glad you're going to work things out with Blaine." Rina smiled at his words and when she pulled away she said, "I'm just glad his father is coming to his senses, Blaine has needed him so much, if they can patch things up before he leaves for college, I know it will change his life for the better."

Finn nodded his head and took her suitcase from her then said, "are you hungry?" She smiled and said, "Finn Hudson, are you asking me on a date?" He laughed at her and said, "maybe, or maybe I'm just trying to be your friend." Rina looked down ashamed and he said, "in all seriousness, I do like you. But more importantly I want us to be friends. I'm not even sure I'm ready to date someone yet, I really do just want to help you. We can figure it out later, if there is anything to figure out." Rina felt relieved and said, "thanks Finn, I could use a friend, and a good meal." He took her hand and said, "well then let's go to get some food."

Finn sat across from Rina with no clue as to what to say. However for some inexplicable reason he wasn't alarmed by this. She sat looking at her menu, but he could tell she wasn't looking at it. She was somewhere else, lost in thought about something horrible. So instead of trying to talk to her he did the only thing he could think of. Finn gently placed his hand on top of hers. She didn't look back at him, but she squeezed his hand ever so lightly, as if to say thank you.  
Rina had been here before, mostly because it was one of the very few restaurants in Ohio that could accommodate her gluten, dairy and soy free diet. The last time she was here it was November 28, 2009, just before the Sadie Hawkins dance.

* * *

She could remember the conversation they had, and even what she ate, but that was mostly because the trauma of the subsequent events that night had caused her to throw up the dinner she had eaten. Suddenly she wasn't at the restaurant anymore; she was outside of Westerville High, running towards the boys who were beating her friends senseless. Somehow she didn't seem to realize she was outnumbered and outmatched in strength, she just knew she had to stop them. She used Connor's scarf to wrap around the neck of one of the guys, choking him while jumping onto his back. The jock fell to the ground, but he didn't stay down long because two other boys left beating Blaine to pull Rina off of him and slam her into a chain link fence. The boys held her hands while the one beating Connor moved slowly towards her and said, "oh, look, it's the faggot's guardian angel." As he stepped closer to her he pulled off the ski mask he had been wearing, and she looked into his cold dead hazel eyes. It was her ex-boyfriend Zack, and presumably the two holding her down were his best friends, Dean and Logan. "How could you!" she shouted angrily at him. "He's my best friend, why are you doing this?" Zack moved in till he was just inches away from her face and said, "because I hate these guys. They're disgusting, vile, they need to be eliminated. And you've been poisoned by them. That's really why I broke up with you Rina, I couldn't have a girlfriend who was friends with a fag." Rina began to cry when she saw how much hate he had inside, how little was left of the boy she used to know, it scared her. "Just please, stop, stop hurting them," she pleaded quietly.

Zack let out a cold heartless laugh, "why should I? Or will you give me something in return?" As he said those words she felt her blood turn cold. She knew what he wanted. She knew what he meant, and it wasn't something he could get from someone else.

"You always held out on me, well now you won't. You can either give me what I want or you can watch your friend die, it's your choice." Rina steadied herself, for some inexplicable reason she felt an inner calm and firmly said, "no Zack, you can't hurt me and you can't hurt Blaine and Connor. It's over now." He grew angry, rage welled within him and he punched Rina as hard as he could in her left lung, knowing she would lose the air in her lungs and possibly consciousness.

Rina screamed from the pain, but her scream was cut short from the lack of oxygen in her lungs. She gasped hard for breath but said again, looking straight into his eyes, "I will not sleep with you Zack." Again he punched her, this time a right hook connecting with her face, and she knew a black eye was coming, that is if it wasn't already there. When she managed to straighten herself out she saw him walk back over to a barely conscious Blaine. She heard him very weakly call out "Rina?" But no sooner had he uttered the words than a swift kick to the head knocked him out for good. "Stop!" she yelled, however the boys used Connor's scarf to gag her and she could no longer speak. She was defenseless now, and she was the only hope for Blaine and Connor. Zack came back over to Rina who was wriggling and writhing trying to get away from the two boys. He held her face and said, "now you can cooperate, and your friends won't die. Or you can save yourself. It's your choice. But tonight someone will pay." Rina was shaking out of fear, tears streaming down her face, what would she do? She took several deep breaths and then tried as best as she could to relax beneath the boy's grasp. Zack said to her, "good girl. Now here's a little incentive for you to stay quiet." As he spoke Zack pulled a knife out of his pocket and held it to Rina's neck, then took off her gag only to shove his tongue down her throat as his free hand found its way up her dress. Soon she heard him unzipping his pants, and then she closed her eyes as tight as she could hoping it would all be over soon.

It had been a while since Rina had such an intense flashback, but when she realized she wasn't in the Westerville High parking lot, she suddenly breathed a heavy sigh; only to realize that she had scared the living crap out of Finn and was squeezing the life out of his hand.

"Finn, I'm so incredibly sorry!" she exclaimed. Finn moved across the table and sat next to her, letting her fall into his open arms and rest her head on his chest. "It's alright Rina, I'm here for you," he said to her. She looked up at him and said, "I didn't just let them go Finn. I let them do something else, something vile. And I'm disgusting too Finn. I'm not worthy of your friendship!" She started to cry and Finn said to her, "whatever it was, _they_ are the villains, _not you._ Whatever happened, it's not your fault, and even though you don't need to make anything right, you've come back to do the only thing you can. That makes you the hero Rina, you're a hero." Rina looked up at him and said, "no Finn, I'm not. It's time you hear the part I left out." Finn's head started reeling at the thought of there being even more to the story than she had already told him, but he steadied himself and listened to her finish the story of Sadie Hawkins.

It didn't take Zack long to get what he wanted, and just as Rina thought it might be over he uttered the words that would send her to hell and back. "Well now, it's your turn Dean." Rina opened her eyes and screamed, "no!" But she was silenced while the other boy had his way with her, and soon after the third followed suit. Finally they had finished with their sadistic game. Rina was let go, falling weakly to the ground, numb and broken. As the boys walked away she threw up, her body violently rejecting the events that had just taken place. She mustered all her courage and screamed for help as loud as she could, slowly crawling toward Blaine. When she got to him she pleaded with him, "wake up Blaine! Please wake up! Don't leave me, you can't die!" Through sobs she continued to cry for help, and the next thing she knew she was riding in an ambulance to Westerville Community Hospital, unable to speak any more.

* * *

For some reason Rina couldn't seem to feel anything as she told Finn the final piece of the puzzle. She looked into his eyes and she saw him begin to cry, here was Finn Hudson six foot tall Finn Hudson crying over the plight of a girl her barely knew. Finn hugged her tight and said to her, "whatever happens from here on out, for however long we spend in each others lives; you are my hero. I hope I can live up to the stunning example of courage and strength you set before me. I am so glad to know you. I am _honored_ to know you." Rina smiled while wrapped in his embrace and said, "the honor is all mine."

Rina smiled that night for a lot of reasons, but first and foremost, because she had finally let go. Finn Hudson was now the only person in the world who knew the whole truth. But with his help she would find the strength and courage to tell the people that needed to know, the people who mattered most. They sat in silence for a while and Rina heard a song playing in the restaurant, one she knew and loved. What she didn't know was at the same time Blaine was listening to the same song, wishing she was with him. Feeling lost without her.

_I swear that I can go on forever again  
Please let me know that my one bad day will end  
I will go down as your lover, your friend  
Give me your lips and with one kiss we begin  
Are you afraid of being alone  
Cause I am, I'm lost without you  
Are you afraid of leaving tonight  
Cause I am, I'm lost without you_

_I'll leave my room open till sunrise for you_  
_I'll keep my eyes patiently focused on you_  
_Where are you now I can hear footsteps I'm dreaming_  
_And if you will, keep me from waking to believe this_

_Are you afraid of being alone_  
_Cause I am, I'm lost without you_  
_Are you afraid of leaving tonight_  
_Cause I am, I'm lost without you_

_Are you afraid of being alone_  
_Cause I am, I'm lost without you_  
_Are you afraid of leaving tonight_  
_Cause I am, I'm lost without you_  
_Are you afraid of being alone_  
_Cause I am, I'm lost without you_  
_Are you afraid of leaving tonight_  
_Cause I am, I'm lost without you_

_I'm lost without you_  
_I'm lost without you_

Finn and Rina ate dinner as if nothing had happened that night, and as he drove her to Blaine's house they talked and laughed as though she wasn't going to have an incredibly difficult few months ahead of her. They finally arrived and Finn parked his truck, helping her with her things. Finally they said goodnight and as she turned to walk up the driveway Finn called after her, "you're never alone Rina. Don't forget that." She smiled and looked back at him then said, "and neither are you."


	5. Stop Crying Your Heart Out

_**Author's Notes: **Hello all! Thanks for tuning in! I hope you like this angst filled chapter, I spent a lot of time re-working it as I couldn't seem to get things quite right. So here it is! Also I'd like to give a shout out to the Story "The Dalton Girl" by starshipranger99, I've been enjoying it so much, so I want to pass the word along and get them more readers because they're awesome! Also thanks to all those who are following the story. And one last request, anyone care to review? I just want to know if you think my reasons for Blaine cheating, Rina's secrets and Mr. Anderson's revelations are all meeting your expectations. Thanks and happy reading!**  
**_

* * *

Rina turned the key to the Anderson family home unsure of what to expect behind the door. She wasn't sure if Mr. Anderson would be waiting for her, or if Blaine would be. She opened the door carefully, it was 11:00pm and she didn't want to disturb the family if anyone was sleeping. She quietly rolled her suitcase inside and shut the door behind her. The house was dark save for the dancing light of the fireplace in the adjacent living room. As she removed her shoes she heard creaking floor boards and turned around to see Blaine standing in front of her, looking sad and tired. As her gaze met his he said, "you're home, I'm so glad you're home" and he hugged her tightly. She was surprised that Blaine was so happy to see her, and even more surprised at him saying 'you're home'. But she didn't take long to analyze his words, she was too happy to see that he wanted her there, that he needed her. They stood in the entryway silently embracing each other for a long time. Finally Blaine pulled away and looked her straight in the eye and said, "I'm sorry."

Rina was surprised that Blaine was apologizing, if anyone had to make amends it was her. Then he spoke words that she thought would shatter her future. "I saw Connor while you were gone", he said to her. "And he told me the truth." Rina looked at him with fear in her eyes and it pained him to see her look at him with such an anxious glance. He gently took her hand and said, "I'm not mad, I'm grateful, and I'm sorry. If I had known all that you sacrificed to keep me safe I would have understood why you seemed so distant. Rina I had no idea that you had been the one to find us, that you had been hurt yourself, I just thought that when you said you didn't know anything you were telling the truth. But I'm your best friend, I should have known better. I should have known that you would have done everything to keep me safe."

Rina held her head low and said, "but that's the thing Blaine, I didn't." He looked at her with a puzzled expression and she said, "I guess it's time you heard the whole truth. Because not even Connor knew what really happened that night." They went up stairs to Blaine's room, and sat on his bed. Rina's hands began to shake, and her whole body began to shiver, Blaine held her hand and said, "whatever it is Rhi, just tell me. I want to know the truth." She looked at him and said, "I should have told you, I should have told the police. But I was afraid. I was too afraid to really help you, I was too much of a coward to do the things I should have. But I want to make it right." Blaine was confused, but he hoped as she continued he would begin to understand.

"I know who hurt you Blaine, I know who it is," she said quietly. He didn't believe her, he knew she wouldn't keep something that monumental from him. She was his best friend, she was loyal, she would never protect the guys who hurt him. "Why didn't you say anything then," he asked flatly.

"I wanted to Blaine, I wanted to put them away forever, but I wasn't strong. I didn't have courage, I wasn't tough enough to handle what happened that night." She knew the explanation wasn't enough, and although she didn't want to admit to Blaine that her virginity had been taken long ago, it was the only way he might understand why she didn't do the right thing. "When I got there, you and Connor were already gone; I didn't know what to do, or how to make them stop. I just attacked, not realizing there were three of them and only one of me. I just wanted them to stop hurting you, but they quickly overpowered me, and then he took off his mask."

Blaine wasn't sure he wanted her to continue, he could feel where she was going, he could sense the direction this was headed, and he didn't want to know that his friend might have suffered even more than he did.

"It was Zack, and his friends Dean and Logan. He said hateful things, things I can't repeat, and then he gave me a choice. I could give him what he wanted, or I could watch you die. I'm sorry Blaine, I tried . . . I did all I knew I could . . . I said no, but I couldn't watch you die, I wasn't going to let you die!"

She burst into a fit of tears and Blaine held on to her tightly, letting her cry into his shoulder, and it reminded him of the day she left Ohio, how she had been so strong, and Blaine realized that she had done more than he could have ever possibly imagined. She had truly loved him, even more than his parents did, and suddenly she was all that mattered, and he would never let her go.

* * *

"Good morning," Rina said softly. Blaine opened his eyes surprised that he didn't have a headache that morning, his curtains were drawn and he could see rain clouds outside. He was happy to look outside and see there was a world beyond this room, beyond the agony of a concussion and broken ribs. Rina had stayed by his side for three weeks, but today was her last day with him, she would be leaving at 7pm for Chicago, and the following week she would be living a life far different from the one Blaine was left behind to manage. He sat up to look at her and he said, "I thought you said I get a present today." She smiled widely and said, "yes, in fact, you get two." She pulled out a bag of his clothes and said, "for part one of a two part present you'll need to get dressed, because today, you're going home." Blaine couldn't help but let out a cry of joy. Although his mother had only seen him twice in the hospital and his father not at all, home was the only place he wanted to be, the only place he felt safe.

He quickly got dressed and soon his doctors were ready to discharge him. He still had weeks of recovery ahead of him but he would be comfortable at home, slowly working through the rest of what would be a lost year, a year he would put behind himself soon enough.

Blaine's mother picked him up and took him straight home, setting him up in a bedroom downstairs so that he wouldn't have to climb any stairs with his still weak legs. Once he was settled she left him and Rina alone, knowing that he would need her soon enough once he learned his friend would not be staying with him.

Blaine and Rina spent a lazy afternoon in the Anderson household, they watched their favorite movies and he napped next to her for one of them. Soon it was 5, and Rina had to tell him goodbye, she had to break her best friend's heart. She didn't bargain on breaking her own as well.

* * *

"I was afraid Blaine," she said; "I was afraid for you, for Connor." "I knew that if I told the police who they were, they might deny it, I was worried they wouldn't be convicted, that they'd go free, and they'd hurt you again. That's why I found you Dalton. Connor finished his year through homeschooling. He said he didn't want to attract any attention to you or himself. That's why he stayed away. So I knew I couldn't just leave you, I knew you would need a safe place; where you could be a free bird and spread your wings, where you could sing."

* * *

Rina gently woke Blaine up from his nap, he saw her smiling face but noticed it was sad, her eyes were not as bright as they had once been. "What's wrong Rhi?" he asked sleepily. "It's time for your second present," she said to him sweetly. He sat up straight as she pulled a rather large box from underneath his bed, it was wrapped in blue paper with a red ribbon. She placed it on his lap and said, "well, open it. Blaine eagerly opened the box, excited to see what would be inside as Rina watched with hopeful eyes, wanting him to like her plan, wishing that he would accept her offer.

He opened the box and inside sat a blue and red blazer, pocket embroidered with the Dalton Academy crest, a tie, and on the blazer a pin with a Warbler on it. He smiled and said to her, "what, is this a costume? Are we going to a party tonight?" She chuckled slightly, "no, you're still recovering remember. Don't you recognize the school crest?" He studied it more carefully, and finally his brain put the pieces together, "I'm going to Dalton?" He whispered it softly, as if he couldn't believe it, "Rhi, that school is impossible to get into, how did this happen? They've got an amazing zero tolerance bullying policy, we're going to be so happ. . ." he stopped in mid sentence. "Wait, that's an all boys school. We won't be together anymore." Rina sat on the edge of his bed and said, "no we won't. But I can't leave if you're not safe. Now you won't start until next year, they couldn't let you in since you have two more months of recovery before you can even leave the house. But you'll be part of the Warblers and you'll get to grow in your talents and you're going to have so much fun, and the boys are all so handsome you're bound to meet someone . . ." but before her enthusiasm could overflow Blaine stopped her dead in her tracks. He violently threw his gift across the room and yelled, "HOW COULD YOU?"

Rina jumped back stunned and said, "why are you doing this? What's wrong?" Blaine closed his hands into tight fists and looked her straight in the eye, "how can you leave me? You're all I have. My parents don't love me, my brother couldn't care less what happened to me, and Connor is gone. What am I going to do? You're supposed to be my best friend, how can you just leave me alone here? Don't you care about me?"

Blaine's words stabbed Rina to the bone. She knew she wanted to stay, but the pain was getting too intense, around every corner she feared she would meet her attackers. She had begun having panic attacks and nightmares, her sadness ever increasing from day to day. She had to leave before it consumed her, before she lost the little sanity she had left. "Blaine, I wish I could stay, but this is an amazing opportunity for me, to go to the Academy, to study what I love. You'll be safe at Dalton, you'll make new friends, and I'm always just a phone call and a plane ride away." Blaine looked away from her, tears forming behind eyes he clenched tight, "you're just like everyone else. You don't really love me." Rina began to cry, "don't say that, it's not true. I love you very much Blaine, you're my best friend. I will always be here for you." He could feel himself falling deeper and deeper into rage, but it wasn't just rage, it was sadness, and an abject sense of loneliness he had never before experienced. He couldn't bear to let her see him so weak anymore, he felt so helpless and it was driving him mad. "Get out" he said to her through gritted teeth.

"What?" she said back quietly in disbelief. "Just go, go to Chicago. Leave, I don't need you. Just go. GET OUT!" Rina began to cry, "Blaine don't do this to me, you're my best friend, I don't want to leave like this." Before long Blaine couldn't contain himself anymore, he fell into a final fit of tears. He vowed that he would never cry again, that these would be his last, and never again would he go back to this place. For the last time Rina climbed into bed beside him and let him cry into her arms. "I'm sorry Blaine, I'm so, so sorry." He realized that this was the first time he had seen her cry though their whole ordeal, and he determined to have the strength she has shown through his darkest hour.

* * *

Blaine had always known that Rina must have pulled more magic than he could ever comprehend getting his parents to let him go to Dalton, but he hadn't ever thought about just how much she had done to keep him safe and happy. "I knew it'd be the best place for you, I went to visit the school and I met Jeff, Wes and Trent. They were so nice, and I just knew you'd grow to feel at home there, that you would be free to be who you are." Suddenly Blaine realized Rina had truly been his best friend all along. He had always felt a strong and instant connection with the Warblers; it felt like home when he was with them. And it was home, because Rina had made it home for him long before he got there. Then he knew he would never doubt her again, he would never question where her affection lied or where her loyalty had gone. He knew in those moments that they had forged a bond stronger than friendship. She had gone above and beyond what friends do, she was family. And presumably, the only family he had. He looked her straight in the eye and said, "I don't care that you didn't tell the police, you kept me safe the best way you knew how, and I could never ask for anything more from you."

Rina smiled and felt relieved, she had never expected Blaine to react this way, she had always thought he would be so mad at her for not revealing the boys' identities that she would lose him forever. She never expected him to understand, it almost didn't seem possible. "You have to know the real reason I came back" she said to him. "I came back to put those boys away. Not for me, but for you. I should have stood up a long time ago Blaine, and I didn't. I tried to hide the pain by becoming someone you would have hated. If you knew all the things I have done I'm sure you wouldn't want to know me. But I'm done, I want to make things right, or at least try to." Blaine held her hand and said, "Rina, I will always be your friend. You have done more for me than I ever imagined. I'm sorry I haven't been a better friend to you. And I don't care about your past, you are more than your mistakes."

As he said those words he began to cry and Rina asked him "what's wrong?" Blaine looked up at her and said, "I just hope you won't judge me Rina. Because I've done something bad too; I've cheated on Kurt." As Blaine said those words he looked at Rina and realized that her expression didn't change, she looked at him with the same loving concern in her eyes. He knew he didn't deserve it, not after the way he treated her; but he was comforted to know that she would stand beside him despite what he had done. "I'm going to lose him" Blaine said. "I've ruined our relationship, and he's never going to love me again." Rina pulled him into a hug and said, "we can fix this Blaine, it won't be easy, but we will." Finally he said, "I'm so tired, I've been crying for two days straight." She smiled at him and said, "then get some rest, we'll figure this out tomorrow." Blaine got into bed and as Rina turned to leave he said to her, "Rina, remember when I was in the hospital, and you would . . . will you . . ." he felt ashamed for asking but she smiled sweetly at him and said, "I'll be right back."

Ten minutes later Rina came back to his room and got into Blaine's bed, snuggling up to her best friend. When he had awoken in the hospital he didn't feel safe, and only when Rina would sing him to sleep could he get a good night's rest. Rina had selfish reasons for caring for Blaine so well, she had always loved him as more than a friend, and even if he didn't feel the same she at least would know how it felt, to have him need her. But that night it didn't feel like that, that night Blaine felt more like a broken child that needed a mother, he needed warm and loving arms that had no agenda but to comfort him. And that's exactly what she did.

Blaine knew how Rina felt, he had always sensed she loved him, and when Connor confirmed it he knew that asking for this would be too much. But he couldn't help it, she was the only one who was willing to offer him comfort, to offer unconditional love, love that he needed and craved since he had come out to his parents. It was love that had been denied him for so long. Feeling a growing sense of regret he began to cry and Rina softly rubbed his back to calm him down. Then she began to sing, knowing it was the only thing she could do for him to help his aching heart.

_Hold up  
Hold on  
Don't be scared  
You'll never change what's been and gone_

May your smile (may your smile)  
Shine on (shine on)  
Don't be scared (don't be scared)  
Your destiny may keep you warm

Blaine held on to her hand, he was afraid of moving forward, he was afraid of his past, he was afraid that he was too weak to fix things with Kurt. But as he held her hand he felt strong, and he began to realize that she was stronger than he had ever realized, and that she in turn would make him strong too.

_Cos all of the stars  
Are fading away  
Just try not to worry  
You'll see them some day  
Take what you need  
And be on your way  
And stop crying your heart out_

Get up (get up)  
Come on (come on)  
Why're you scared? (I'm not scared)  
You'll never change  
What's been and gone

Cos all of the stars  
Are fading away  
Just try not to worry  
You'll see them some day  
Take what you need  
And be on your way  
And stop crying your heart out

Cos all of the stars  
Are fading away  
Just try not to worry  
You'll see them some day  
Take what you need  
And be on your way  
And stop crying your heart out

We're all of us stars  
We're fading away  
Just try not to worry  
You'll see us some day  
Just take what you need  
And be on your way  
And stop crying your heart out  
Stop crying your heart out  
Stop crying your heart out

* * *

The next day Rina woke long before she should have, but sleep had come and gone and she couldn't stand to be in bed any longer. She quietly got up out of Blaine's bed and found a bathrobe, after brushing her teeth and washing her face she went downstairs to make herself some coffee. She went about making coffee thinking about how she would approach the police, how she would face the glee club, and how she would help Blaine fix his relationship with Kurt. Just as her head began to spin she was startled back into reality by Mr. Anderson.

"Rina" he said quietly. She looked at his face, she saw a man tired and struggling. She had only seen that expression on his face once before, on the night of Sadie Hawkins. Rina asked, "are you alright Mr. Anderson?" He looked as if he would cry and simply said, "can we talk in my study?" She obliged silently and followed him in, sitting down across the desk from him, which sent her back to the day she changed Blaine's life.

* * *

Rina had finally be released from observation, when Mr. Anderson asked her to come see him when she was ready. At first she thought he must have come to his senses. Maybe he would provide a reason for her to tell the truth, and the security she had longed to feel. After all Mr. Anderson was a lawyer, he could offer her protection, and a chance to put away the boys who had hurt his son. But when he shut the door and they were alone in the room, Rina realized that wasn't his intention at all. She wasn't in a place that was safe, she was in a place where she too would be stifled and silenced.

Mr. Anderson had only one agenda in mind, to silence the girl who knew the truth. He sat stoically for several minutes and finally said, "Miss Hendrix, I have asked you here today in the hopes that your friendship with my son will prove to be helpful to him in this time of need." Rina looked at him with disgust, if she had survived a beating and gang rape she wasn't going to back down to Mr. Anderson and his homophobia. She replied to him, "I just risked my life to save him Mr. Anderson, and if you haven't noticed, **I've been the one staying with him in the hospital day and night by his bedside.**" She said this with bitterness, but surprisingly Mr. Anderson didn't seem bothered by this, he said, "it's good to see you still have a fighting spirit, you'll need that in the days ahead."

Rina couldn't understand Mr. Anderson or his words and she was tired of playing cat and mouse, but more importantly every minute she spent there was another minute away from him. Finally she said, "what do you want Mr. Anderson?"

He got up slowly and paced behind his desk, it would have been intimidating if Rina hadn't already faced her worst fears just two nights ago. He spoke slowly and said, "Miss Hendrix I realize you didn't tell the police all you know. I've defended many young women in your situation, and I know you did much more than you let on to keep my son alive. But if you want to keep him safe, you have to keep those secrets hidden. I'm hoping this will serve as a wake up call to my son. I am hoping he'll realize that this world will never accept what he has chosen to become. If he never knows the fear of this happening again will make him see the error of his ways." Rina had heard enough, she couldn't take any more. She stood up and yelled, "IWILL NEVER TAKE ORDERS FROM YOU! I WILL TELL EVERYONE I KNOW IF I HAVE TO, I AM NOT GOING TO BE A PART OF YOUR PLAN!" Mr. Anderson moved to strike her but she stood strong, and suddenly he realized that this young girl was much braver than he could ever be. He lowered his hand to his side and bowed his head, his shoulders slumped in defeat, he could only hope her sense of pity would make her see that she needed to help him.

"It's not easy you know," he said to her quietly, "to see your son lying lifeless, without any way to help him." Rina heard sincerity in his voice, something she hadn't ever heard before. She sat and said, "you really do love him don't you." He didn't answer but said, "when he was born, I thought I was going to lose him, and my wife. You see Blaine was a breach baby, and Beverly had to undergo an emergency c-section. Something went wrong, she lost a lot of blood, and Blaine wasn't breathing when he was born. I didn't know what to do, what if she died? What if he died? I was helpless, I couldn't do anything to save them. Do you know how that feels? I am supposed to be the strongest man he knows, and I began our relationship by failing him. I know you don't understand why I'm doing this, but it really is for his own good. Maybe when you're a parent you'll understand that."

Rina never wanted to understand, but she suddenly found herself in a unique position. Although she didn't want to make a deal with the devil, she realized this was the only opportunity she would have to help Blaine. So she swallowed the last bit of her pride and said, "alright Mr. Anderson, but I need something in return." He looked at her with fear in his eyes and said, "what?" She pulled a Dalton pamphlet from her pocket and put it in front of him. "This, in return for my silence."

* * *

Mr. Anderson knew he wanted to help Rina, and in turn his son. He wasn't sure how he was going to do this, or if he even could, all he knew was that he wanted to try. He sat and looked at her and said, "I'm sorry Rina. I'm sorry I made you lie, and I'm sorry I've hurt Blaine. I want to help you in any way I can, because I know you'll be helping my son."

Rina felt the strong urge to hug Mr. Anderson, and without giving it a second thought she did. At first he was stiff to her embrace, but soon he relaxed and gave in. He smiled and said, "I see why my son loves you so much. In some ways you're like his mother. But you're stronger than her, you're stronger than most people I know." Rina looked at Mr. Anderson and said, "how I can help? Tell me what to do?" Mr. Anderson looked her straight in the eye and said, "you can start by telling the truth, and all of it." He said this in a way that made realize that he meant telling Blaine that she had been silenced by his father.

"He doesn't need to know Mr. Anderson," she said softly. He shook his head and said, "if I am ever going to repair things with my son, I have to do it by telling him the truth, and hoping he'll find some way to forgive me." Rina looked out the window knowingly. It seemed as if the three of them were in for a lot of truth, but if Blaine could forgive her, she had hope he could forgive his father, and Kurt him.


End file.
